.http://blog.jammuredefine.in/double-face-of-congress-exposed-again/#sthash.Dh0h6M3C.dpb
The above photo and url link refers to the Women's Reservation Bill members of Indian society are attempting to pass for women who do not want to comply with the traditional marriage conventions. This bill enables women to marry out of their race and provides freedom for women who do not want to comply with their families wishes and obligations as a female.
Jhumpa Lahiri begins
her novel, The Namesake, from the
perspective of Gogol’s mother, Ashima.
Lahiri focuses on the alienation Ashima feels giving birth in a foreign
country among strangers, with a husband whose habits she is still
learning. American parents allow their
children to choose their own spouses, an independence unfamiliar to traditional
Indian families. Reading this novel provides
one with a glimpse of the obedience children give their parents and it is
through this obedience that their futures are shaped around arranged
marriages.
Lahiri does not
delve deeply into the issues of subservience and duties children show towards
their parents, I am specifically interested in the subservience from the female
perspective. Lahiri’s description of Ashima’s
marriage and the description given concerning the birth of Ashima’s son led me
to question the stifling customs that give women no choices in their own lives,
except for what their parents choose for them.
Ashima, like most Indian women, go to school and sometimes university,
to bide their time until their family finds a husband for them. While at school, women broaden their minds
and gain some knowledge pertaining to independence and get to explore their own
desires. After completing their
education, or during, women forget the dreams and desires and marry the man
approved by their parents. Through the
‘courting’ process, girls’ parents market their daughters by highlighting
qualities that will make their daughters exceptional wives, never once
considering their brains. Characters like Ashima do not question the
arrangements or their parents choices, viewing marriage as a duty to the family, “it had been after tutoring
one day that Ashima’s mother had met her at the door, told her to go straight
to the bedroom and prepare herself; a man was waiting to see her” (Lahiri 6).
Ashima dutifully obeys and this obedience takes her across an ocean, away from
her family, so that her union brings status and pride to her family. Not marrying in Indian culture brings shame
upon the family’s name and if a daughter refuses to marry her noncompliance reflects
negatively on the parents as an inability to control their children.
Reading
texts relating to women’s rights and marital expectations in Indian society
frustrates Western readers, largely because our independence and freedoms begin
immediately after birth. Authors like
Jhumpa Lahiri and Anne Cherian relate the problems of tradition through their
female characters relinquishing their rights to their family by following the
marriage arrangement. Their characters
relate their fears and frustrations with the pressures women face in regards to
marrying and complying with families desires.
Anne Cherian describes the process of marriage for a woman as a
bartering process: “[g]irls were like cows, their pedigrees discussed openly
and parts checked out” (Cherian 40).
Reading this defines the role of the Indian woman, a slave. Not only is
she a slave to the culture, but her family, her sisters, and her
educators. There is no escape for women,
if they toe the line their family rejects them and Indian women have not been
educated to survive in the world on their own.
They are bred under the notion of dependence on male figures; they learn
from their fathers and then must succumb to the rule of another man, her
husband. Anne Cherian’s novel, A Good Indian Wife, discusses the
pressures women face from the family to procure a husband and women’s inability
to assert her independence within her household and society. The main character, Leila, finds herself
unwed and well past the expiration date of a fruitful marrying age, issuing
concerns from her family that her inability to wed as failure as parents. Like most humans, Leila has her own desires
that she wishes could play out, but the need to fulfill her parents’ wishes
overshadow her wants. Each page you want
Leila to walk out and assert her own feelings to her parents, but Cherian
continues her betrothal process so that readers understand the isolation women
feel within their families and country. Amma,
Leila’s mother, reveals her feelings of shame to Leila, “‘You know how I have
suffered all these years? So any people asking why for you are not married’”
(Cherian 39).